…and from the back row-

Oh sweet mother of all, does it have to hit from all sides?  I’m dealing with:

1) The chaos of my autistic toddler [sorry, PFL aside] who is now exhibiting some horrible compulsive habits to go along with the rest of it all

2) School, which I seem to be about 2.15 steps behind where I need to be, at all times

3) Trying to recover from going-on-three-months of ridiculous colds/influenza, a horrible now-9-month plantar fascitis, a leaky bladder [I know, too much information] and a diet that doesn’t fit well to life on the run

4) My grandma’s death, and my mother’s overwhelming grief at losing her mother [I just can’t stand it when my mommy is sad… 😦 ]

NOW.  LET’S ADD MY 15-YEAR OLD SON, R. TO THE MIX…  Gads.  I’ll just go with today: 

He let his friend come over to hang out [no friends allowed at the house when we’re not home, unless approved by us parental units].  So, when my DH came home for lunch, R. got scared, and his friend decided to leave via R.’s second-story bedroom window.  Then, R. forgot to SHUT the window, leaving it wide open with curtains trailing outside.  It’s winter time, remember?

At dinner we are eating, and it comes up yet again that my 15-year old doesn’t know the months of the year.  We’ve been working on this for a loooong, looooooooooong time….  :/   He doesn’t remember what month Halloween or Thanksgiving is in, and he doesn’t know what month we are in right now.  He guesses, “Uh, January???”  :\  I still don’t know for sure if he understands YEARS and all that, in connection with dates.  Ugh.

Later, R. is downstairs watching TV, I’m up here trying to study for a big psych test.  He comes up with an empty bottle of gummy vitamin-D supplements.  “Uh, Mom?  I sort of had a couple of these, and then I forgot that they were vitamins, and I forgot that I was eating them, and I finished the rest of the bottle…”  GREAT.  I looked online, and couldn’t find anything too conclusive for a person ingesting over 30,000 IU of vitamin D in one sitting.  So I make him get the phone and the poison control center magnet off the fridge…  and call.  He calls, and at the end of the conversation I ask to talk to the woman.  We had a nice chuckle over me making him call and deal with the situation, and with him eating the bottle of vitamins [especially because I thought it was my 3 year old I had to watch out for].  Ha.  R. is embarrassed as could be, OH WELL.  I asked him if he remembered to take his medicine, and NO.  He hadn’t.  It’s hard to get your ADHD kid to remember to take a pill every day, and it looks like we are going to have to instigate some new methods around here.

About 30 minutes ago, DH comes home from installing our car DVD player headrests and drove up to find our dogs running around outside.  They’d been out forever, as, I’d asked R. to let the dogs out an hour or so previously.  [He knows that entails letting them BACK IN, he’s only done it a few million times.] 😦

OH MY GOD.  And I just ended up in tears, being that he’s expecting to get his learner’s permit in less than 6 months.  Have a job.  A life.

Am I going to have BOTH my kids living with me for the rest of my life?  Are they going to reproduce, and then I can have all my kids and my grandchildren living with me forever?  What in the world is going ON?  I feel very sad right now.

Summing Up

It’s a gray, cold Monday morning.  I’ve got a billion things to do here at the house, and Emma’s nasty cold is resurfacing for the 4th or 5th time.  I wish that I could just nurse hot tea and keep Emma happy.  Yes, yes, I know that popular opinion usually dictates “Oh, just let those things go and spend the day with your kid.”  But I just can’t do it…  I happen to have the day off school, and we have company coming in Friday.  There is a lot that has to get done, like moving storage off the spare bed, etc etc etc.   >sigh

The last three weeks have been okay, I guess.  My Grandma died last week, and to be honest – it just isn’t real yet.  Here and there I get ‘glimpses’ of feeling the loss.  But to be honest [this may sound horrible folks] I’m almost too busy right now to really process.  She lived in another country and we didn’t see her often.  However, I did spend a year near her, and developed some close ties.  She was a very unusual woman, and I just don’t quite believe that she’s not up there in the far north…

One morning I went to get emma out of bed, and she had demolished an entire TUB of butt cream [$35].  She had covered her entire body in the gunk, including hair, and paying special attention to her bally button and toes.  It was smeared all over the wood of her crib, and on her blankets too.  If the camera had been handy I would have taken a picture of her.  But honestly, I was too tired and pissed to go looking for it.  A long bath with lots of Dawn dish soap took care of part of the problem…  Later I took a picture of her baby doll that was in the crib with her.

School is crazy.  I had a dream last night that I miserably failed my astronomy exam.  Probably taken from feelings of failure from my math exam last Friday.  I leave town at 8am, and don’t get home until 7pm.  That’s so late, that Emma usually eats in Alamosa – which means she has access to one of her only ‘in’ foods – grilled cheese sandwiches.  We get home, and she goes to bed.  Isn’t that sad?  I mean, I do miss her and all.  But – the early bedtime definitely helps me get more homework time in the evening.

blah blah blah.

Sorry folks, I feel like Im just regurgitating boring STUFF.  Not very creative today.  Maybe my brain is paralyzed, who knows?

Emma has continued with some wicked tantrums, especially after school.  Doctor’s appointments have come and gone.  School appears to be really good for her.  We found out she’s officially the size of a 4 1/2 year old.  Ha ha ha!!  Yeah, she’s huge.  Not overweight, but her diapers do interfere with pant sizes.  She is still just OBSESSED with latex exam gloves.  I have boxes at home and in the car now.  ‘Tell you what, if she decides that gloves are what she needs, you’d better have them handy!

Ugh.  She is so grumpy this morning!  Just sitting in her spot on the couch, kind of screeching at me like an angry bird.  I can’t figure out what she wants.  Damned if I do [try to figure out – wrong guesses piss her off] and damned if I don’t [duh.  more anger].  I cut her hair….  a nice bob.  It’s really cute on her, but I’m a little bummed about it.  I really wanted to grow her hair out long and pretty.  I’m sure I will some day, but for now I just needed the hair wars to end.  I mean, it’s still horrible most of the time when I brush it – but it only lasts 2 versus 8 minutes.  🙂  Victory?

I went to the PEP [parents encouraging parents] conference in January.  It was amazing and very educational.  I received fantastic legal information about my kids’ rights concerning IEP, jobs, etc.  I also made several good people connections and got valuable information for when I start my parent support group here in the Valley.

The toy bank is coming along, as friends have started collecting toys/etc.  For those of you that have the money for shipping, please consider donating your used toys/special needs equipment to us.  Besides toys, used [or new!] art supplies are appreciated as well.  Anyway, it looks like the location is coming through.  Now the main coordinator is trying to figure out how to get utilities covered, and then I believe it will be moving time.  🙂  I’m so excited!

I’ve also got two bookings for my A.V.A. presentation.  [A Vision of Autism].  One big one at Adams State College, and a small one at Trinidad State Junior College.  I’m really excited about this too, and hope to eventually be presenting all over the valley and beyond.

Anyway.  To leave you all on a good note, here is a video from one of Emma’s favorite Sesame Street episodes.  I just love this song! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyVzjoj96vs